Two Sons in the Sunset
A dark love story of heartache & human cloning
I.
“I know…I know…”
“But you don’t know, Alex. That’s the point,” Priyanka said.
Alexander Hesperides chewed his cheek, a nervous habit.
“You say you know. But what’s manifesting in your life is the exact opposite of the thing you’re claiming to know.”
Heady stuff. Especially for the departure terminal. But that’s what you get when you fall in love with a philosophy professor .
“I want to take a break,” Priyanka said.
“Pri, come on. I love you.”
“You just love me because you think I’m a riddle you’ve solved. I’m not a genomic model,” she said, wiggling her engagement ring. “We’ll each have time to think things over.”
Alex knew it was too soon to pop the question. They had only dated nine months. But they were both 37. You didn’t have to be a research fellow in genetic engineering, to understand it made sense biologically. Would either of them find a better match at their age or level of intelligence? He didn’t want to let Priyanka get away. Yet here he was, seeing her off to a visiting lectureship in Mumbai.
“This is just your way to breaking it off. I know you-”
“-But you don’t. You don’t even know yourself, Alex. Like have you ever just sat and watched a sunset?”
Alex shrugged . “Why?”
“You can’t know me unless you know yourself. Watch a sunset. Take notes if you want, but be pres-”
The intercom blared: “Final boarding call. United flight 378,”
She sighed and walked away. “Just watch a sunset. And observe yourself while you’re at it.”
Observe yourself…
He had a idea.
II.
“This is insane…you know that?”
Alex knew Franz was right.
“There’s easier ways to get fired,” Franz said, swiveling in his chair in front of a huge bank of monitors attached to the cloning scanner. “Streak through the quad.”
“No one’s around to see.” And that was the point. During summer break only he and Franz had access to the clone technology in the University’s basement.
“You could post it on Instagram?” Franz offered.
Alex rolled his eyes. “You’ll do it?”
“Well, it’s illegal, unethical, immoral…of course I’ll do it.” Franz grinned. “On one condition.” Alex raised his eyebrows to say yes. “I get to see you naked.”
“What?”
“So I can scan you, dummy.” Franz said and winked.
“Of course.” Alex stripped off and got in the scanner.
III.
“I’ll call him ‘Zander’.” Alex said as he and Franz stared at the fully human clone floating in the tank. Two months had passed. Alex enjoyed watching him grow.
“As in alex-Zander, nice.” Franz held up a small vial.
“Is that for the…” Alex swallowed hard.
“Just tell him it’s the genetic stabilizer I’m working on.”
The real ‘one condition’ was that after Alex’s sunset experiment with the clone Franz was going to dissect it for research purposes. However he only told Alex after the scanning was complete. The clone was, as Franz described it, a snapshot. A complete replica of Alex at that moment of time. Everything Alex knew, the clone knew. The bruise on Alex’s right cheek from taking a cricket ball to the face (complete with seam mark) would be replicated. Alex’s bruise had mostly healed. That’s how I’ll tell you two apart, Franz had commented. The clone couldn’t know he would be killed for science. And to destroy the evidence.
Zander also couldn’t know that Pri had airmailed the engagement ring back. Alex had to understand himself now in relation to the sunset. Zander was his control group. It was the only way to get Pri back.
Franz drained the tank. Zander took his first breath.
IV.
Zander and Alex lived as twins for about a week as the clone adjusted to life.
On the day of the experiment they sat near a cricket oval half an hour before sunset. Both had paper and pens and took notes. Alex put a cricket ball at their feet so he could observe how it changed.
Alex’s notes:
“It is a cloudless sunny day. Sky appears blue, lighter towards the horizon and darker shades higher up. Greens in the trees are dark but the trees are distinct from one another and it is easy to tell the leaves of different trees apart. Shade covers about ⅓ of the field. Warm yellow light shines on two dogs chasing each other — masters watching.
The cricket ball appears deep red, lighter pink scars show on both sides.
The sun dips below the house line now. Half of the oval now in shade. Grey dust particles kick up as a young BMX rider skids past doing laps on the track around the field.
The cricket ball seems to have light coming onto it from both sides, the seam directly in front of me is dark.
I look west now, bright orange glow, houses all in silhouette. The eastern sky has the colours of the rainbow around the horizon. Purple at the bottom to pinkish-red at top. They are compact, blending seamlessly.
Some greens in trees are turning black. Depth perception getting harder.
It’s sundown, 6:10pm. Red seats in cricket stand still visible, but greens in trees are all one shapeless mass. Vividness of all houses diminishing. I can’t make out the texture of the grass. Depth perception is harder.
The red of the cricket ball is present in front of me but I can’t make out the scars on it.
It’s dark now.”
V.
Alex reread his notes. It was clear that in the faltering light his ability to perceive the world around him changed. It flattened out and got less distinct. The colour drained from the world as it merged into black. In the absence of light all things merged.
He imagined a world of total darkness. It would be impossible to orient yourself in this world. There would be no relationships between objects. There would be no objects. It would just be you, alone. Was this Pri’s message to him?
Alex read Zander’s notes. As Zander watched the sunset he was reminded of Priyanka. When the sunshine reflecting on the fences changed from pinkish/yellow to white Zander thought of how Pri’s hazel eyes appeared green when long light scattered across her iris. Zander didn’t care about how well he could track the motion of the dogs chasing each other, only how he had refused to buy them a puppy because it would distract from their work. The cricket ball was only a reminder their mutual love of the sport and how he missed watching the Ashes with her.
How could they be this different? Zander was his clone.
No two beings experience the world the same way even if those two beings are genetically identical.
VI.
It was a week before summer break was over. Zander sat in a dressing gown on an examination table in the University basement.
Alex chewed his cheek as he prepared the needle, “It’s a stabilization serum.”
Alex felt like he was killing a part of himself. But it was the logical thing to do. Pri was right, he treated her, like everything, as a problem to solve. By reducing his human experience of a sunset to a purely scientific basis he reduced his humanity to nought. Everything made logical sense, but meant nothing.
And that’s when it hit him.
Not a realization. But a cricket ball. To the cheek.
In his agony Alex barely registered the needle prick.
“You see Alex, after I read your notes I realised you’ll always live in emotional darkness no matter how much colour you perceive in the world.”
Alex wanted to say I know, I know, but he couldn’t.
“I love Priyanka, and I can’t lose her to someone like you,” Zander finished switching their clothes just as Franz came in wearing scrubs. His eyes darted between the nearly identical faces.
“Man, that cricket injury is still really red,” Franz observed. “We’ll find out why soon enough.” He fired up the bone saw.
Zander stuck his hands in his pockets and pulled out a diamond ring.
Alex entered a world of total blackness. He took his final breath.
VII.
“Something’s different about you.”
Alexander was waiting for Priyanka when she cleared customs on her red eye flight.
“You were right. We’re both riddles that I can never solve.” he slipped the ring back on her finger. “I want to grow old in that mystery together.”
They drove home just as the sun was rising.
